Los Angeles Hillbillies

Come and listen to a story about a man named Juan,

A poor gard-en-er, just look'n for a lawn,

Then one day he was swim'n Rio Grand',

And next thing you know he was up in the land...

...of plenty that is — good jobs, free health care.


Of course you remember the Beverly Hillbillies. Poor, uneducated mountain man Jed Clampett and family strike oil, move to sophisticated Beverly Hills, bring their hillbilly ways with them, don't adapt — hilarity ensues. Unfortunately this is happening to us every day and we are Mrs. Drysdale. Yes, I know she was an unsympathetic character in the TV show, but seriously, would you want a bunch of hillbillies living next to you if you lived in Beverly Hills? How about if you live in Dallas? Or Los Angeles? No one wants to be around people of a significantly lower socioeconomic status. Nobody, including the liberal elites. Hey, Ms. Streisand? You mind if these day-laborers hang out on your property? You do mind? They're just trying to make an honest living... Come on now. Have a heart.

Look. I'm not a racist. I even married outside my race — an Asian (Japanese to be precise). But I sure wouldn't want a poor Cambodian family moving in on my block. It's not because I don't like Asians. It's because I don't like poor, uneducated, third-world Asians. Just like the affluent, educated Japanese don't like them (and they don't, I can tell you).

We live in a first-world country — abundance, opportunity, low crime, low corruption, good health and good health care (despite Michael Moore's lies) — the things that third-world countries don't have. That's why they come here. Unfortunately, they bring with them their third-world attitudes. Why is it that Mexico, for instance, is a third-world country and the United States is a first-world country? Liberals would say it is lack of resources, lack of health care, lack of education. Solution? Shovel money at them — the way that we do with numerous third-world countries. Result? Continued poverty, crime and corruption. I believe that the reason is very simple — it is their third-world attitudes and culture that create their third-world economy. Our attitudes — our culture — built this wonderful country that others will risk their lives to sneak into. As long as immigration was restricted to reasonable numbers, the immigrants could be absorbed as they embraced our culture, assimilated, and became first-worlders. The massive size of today's illegal immigration does not allow this and assimilation is not the goal of the majority of illegal aliens. They want to continue being hillbillies in Beverly Hills. They've put Granny's rocking chair out on the porch.

Now the Clampetts, despite being American "third-worlders," did bring with them a very valuable thing — their money. By putting Jed's millions in Mr. Drysdale's bank, the bank was able to create further wealth by lending money. Liberals, Granny, and others who do not understand economics seem to think that money is simply parked somewhere — or stuffed into mattresses. The truth is that money in banks is invested. It is borrowed by businesses and homeowners and is used to create new wealth — a benefit to all (isn't capitalism wonderful?) But the Los Angeles Hillbillies, the illegal immigrants, are exporting wealth back to relatives in Mexico. A net flow of wealth out of the United States. We get Tejano music and clogged E.R.s — they get U.S. dollars. Wouldn't it be better for everyone if we just built a wall and threw money over it?