MBA (Morons in Business Administration)

My blog is intended for political and cultural rants. This one is a bit off topic, but it's short and sweet (or is that sour?).

I walked into my local OfficeMax today searching for some particular item. The store had evidently just undergone a major reorganization. Everything was in a new place. I am convinced that businesses make stupid decisions all the time. This is one of them. Don't they understand the value to customers of knowing where to find something? It seems not. In fact, I'd say that there are some places that I shop, groceries for instance, that I choose the store not for locality or price but because I know where to find what I'm looking for. And if they erase that advantage, well then I might as well take my business elsewhere. Apparently this bit of wisdom is not taught in the MBA classes to these business geniuses. Or maybe it's just me.

Since the store was in complete disarray — or re-array — it would have been nice to have some helpful staff on hand to guide customers to the new locations of products. I walked isle after isle looking for the object of my visit. It was a large store. I left without a purchase. I saw exactly one store employee.

Contrast this with the times when I've gone in and some pimply-faced kid interrupts my evident study of an item to ask me if I'm finding everything OK. What's with these idiots? Here's how it should work. If the employee is looking for people to help, then he should hover nearby and if someone needs help they'll spot him and ask for help. Instead, they insist on interrupting you when you don't need help. No, I can't be pleased.

I almost never ask for help. Oh, this is one of those "man" things about not asking for directions, isn't it? No, it's not, and it's simple. These people are, in general, idiots and a waste of my time. I firmly believe I can do much better with my own eyes and intelligence. Occasionally I give in and ask, only to have my conviction reinforced that it's a waste of time. They march you across the store to show you what you clearly DIDN'T ask for. Or they don't know if the store has such a thing and look at you like you asked for something bizarre like a neon purple steam-powered squid. Or they say that the store doesn't carry it, simply because that's the easiest thing for them to say and get rid of you.

When it comes to interrupting customers, nothing perhaps beats Best Buy's "greeting" when you enter the store. You walk in, and there's this guy facing not the entrance but into the store. This is the guy that checks your bag and uses the hi-liter to mark your receipt. To do that job it makes sense that he's facing away from entering customers. But after you've walked by him, he shouts out his corporately-mandated greeting from behind you. At this point, you have three alternatives:

The polite thing: Turn around, and make eye contact and acknowledge his salutation (note: this requires stopping or at least slowing down lest you run into someone);

Do a "half-ack" where you turn your head a bit, maybe to the point of seeing the guy out of your peripheral vision, and raising your hand in sort of a semi-wave;

Lastly, you can ignore him altogether and pretend you didn't hear him.

At various times in my life I've gotten the reputation of being a jerk, yet despite my apparent jerkness, I just can't seem to do be rude enough to completely ignore the guy. I usually do the polite thing, turn and acknowledge him, and in doing so, take another swig from the bottle of resentment.