Los Angeles Hillbillies

Come and listen to a story about a man named Juan,

A poor gard-en-er, just look'n for a lawn,

Then one day he was swim'n Rio Grand',

And next thing you know he was up in the land...

...of plenty that is — good jobs, free health care.


Of course you remember the Beverly Hillbillies. Poor, uneducated mountain man Jed Clampett and family strike oil, move to sophisticated Beverly Hills, bring their hillbilly ways with them, don't adapt — hilarity ensues. Unfortunately this is happening to us every day and we are Mrs. Drysdale. Yes, I know she was an unsympathetic character in the TV show, but seriously, would you want a bunch of hillbillies living next to you if you lived in Beverly Hills? How about if you live in Dallas? Or Los Angeles? No one wants to be around people of a significantly lower socioeconomic status. Nobody, including the liberal elites. Hey, Ms. Streisand? You mind if these day-laborers hang out on your property? You do mind? They're just trying to make an honest living... Come on now. Have a heart.

Look. I'm not a racist. I even married outside my race — an Asian (Japanese to be precise). But I sure wouldn't want a poor Cambodian family moving in on my block. It's not because I don't like Asians. It's because I don't like poor, uneducated, third-world Asians. Just like the affluent, educated Japanese don't like them (and they don't, I can tell you).

We live in a first-world country — abundance, opportunity, low crime, low corruption, good health and good health care (despite Michael Moore's lies) — the things that third-world countries don't have. That's why they come here. Unfortunately, they bring with them their third-world attitudes. Why is it that Mexico, for instance, is a third-world country and the United States is a first-world country? Liberals would say it is lack of resources, lack of health care, lack of education. Solution? Shovel money at them — the way that we do with numerous third-world countries. Result? Continued poverty, crime and corruption. I believe that the reason is very simple — it is their third-world attitudes and culture that create their third-world economy. Our attitudes — our culture — built this wonderful country that others will risk their lives to sneak into. As long as immigration was restricted to reasonable numbers, the immigrants could be absorbed as they embraced our culture, assimilated, and became first-worlders. The massive size of today's illegal immigration does not allow this and assimilation is not the goal of the majority of illegal aliens. They want to continue being hillbillies in Beverly Hills. They've put Granny's rocking chair out on the porch.

Now the Clampetts, despite being American "third-worlders," did bring with them a very valuable thing — their money. By putting Jed's millions in Mr. Drysdale's bank, the bank was able to create further wealth by lending money. Liberals, Granny, and others who do not understand economics seem to think that money is simply parked somewhere — or stuffed into mattresses. The truth is that money in banks is invested. It is borrowed by businesses and homeowners and is used to create new wealth — a benefit to all (isn't capitalism wonderful?) But the Los Angeles Hillbillies, the illegal immigrants, are exporting wealth back to relatives in Mexico. A net flow of wealth out of the United States. We get Tejano music and clogged E.R.s — they get U.S. dollars. Wouldn't it be better for everyone if we just built a wall and threw money over it?

My Aching Back

I have a back problem, but despite that, I sometimes lift heavy things, fully knowing ahead of time that it is probably going to aggravate my condition — perhaps even dramatically so. But instead of saying to myself or others, "No, I cannot lift that heavy thing. I need help," I employ Wishful Thinking and do it anyway. Why do I do this? Well, because I want to be a man. Or because I don't want to stop being a man. Because I would be ashamed or embarrassed to have to ask others — to show weakness, to be useless. Some sort of "macho" thing? I suppose so, but the point is, I value masculinity and the ability to do things for myself and to not depend on others. I value this highly. Unfortunately, this value sometimes propels me to do irrational things — like lifting something heavy when I full well know that if I'm ever going to get over the problem, I should not.

Where does this bit of personal confession lead to?

Realization: one can embrace a value so highly that it must be chased or maintained even if it forces one into acting irrationally — even knowingly so. I'd consider dubbing it "raison irrationnelle," but that’d be speaking French.

One thing I've cogitated on for some time is how liberals who are, more often than not, intelligent people, endorse patently stupid ideas. Ideas that can logically be shown to be fallacious and harmful by simple explanation. Explanations that would be understood and accepted by anyone with half a brain — yet they will not listen. They will make excuses and rationalize and find absurd arguments and make accusations — anything other than listen to reason.

Giving money to the poor hasn't eliminated poverty. Throwing money at schools has not improved education. Banning guns has not reduced the murder rate. Appeasing our enemies does not make us safer. The results are never as promised and, in fact, the opposite effect usually comes about — crime goes up, test scores go down, murder goes up, our enemies are emboldened.

I think that this is the liberal's version of my Wishful Thinking. If you could pin them down, (you can't), they'd have to admit that liberal "solutions," are unworkable. But over and over again they will insist on trying to "lift the heavy load" with little hope of actually getting away with it. They have in place a value that they must heed above logic. It certainly isn't manliness. Its some sort of feel-good, humanitarian ethic that they must pursue at all costs. I guess it's "liberalism," or "progressivism." They value it like I value being a man.

I guess that might be fine — to each his own, you know. However, it's one thing when I do something stupid and hurt my own back. It's entirely something else when liberals want to pursue their folly with OPM (Other People's Money) and OPL (Other People's Lives).

MBA (Morons in Business Administration)

My blog is intended for political and cultural rants. This one is a bit off topic, but it's short and sweet (or is that sour?).

I walked into my local OfficeMax today searching for some particular item. The store had evidently just undergone a major reorganization. Everything was in a new place. I am convinced that businesses make stupid decisions all the time. This is one of them. Don't they understand the value to customers of knowing where to find something? It seems not. In fact, I'd say that there are some places that I shop, groceries for instance, that I choose the store not for locality or price but because I know where to find what I'm looking for. And if they erase that advantage, well then I might as well take my business elsewhere. Apparently this bit of wisdom is not taught in the MBA classes to these business geniuses. Or maybe it's just me.

Since the store was in complete disarray — or re-array — it would have been nice to have some helpful staff on hand to guide customers to the new locations of products. I walked isle after isle looking for the object of my visit. It was a large store. I left without a purchase. I saw exactly one store employee.

Contrast this with the times when I've gone in and some pimply-faced kid interrupts my evident study of an item to ask me if I'm finding everything OK. What's with these idiots? Here's how it should work. If the employee is looking for people to help, then he should hover nearby and if someone needs help they'll spot him and ask for help. Instead, they insist on interrupting you when you don't need help. No, I can't be pleased.

I almost never ask for help. Oh, this is one of those "man" things about not asking for directions, isn't it? No, it's not, and it's simple. These people are, in general, idiots and a waste of my time. I firmly believe I can do much better with my own eyes and intelligence. Occasionally I give in and ask, only to have my conviction reinforced that it's a waste of time. They march you across the store to show you what you clearly DIDN'T ask for. Or they don't know if the store has such a thing and look at you like you asked for something bizarre like a neon purple steam-powered squid. Or they say that the store doesn't carry it, simply because that's the easiest thing for them to say and get rid of you.

When it comes to interrupting customers, nothing perhaps beats Best Buy's "greeting" when you enter the store. You walk in, and there's this guy facing not the entrance but into the store. This is the guy that checks your bag and uses the hi-liter to mark your receipt. To do that job it makes sense that he's facing away from entering customers. But after you've walked by him, he shouts out his corporately-mandated greeting from behind you. At this point, you have three alternatives:

The polite thing: Turn around, and make eye contact and acknowledge his salutation (note: this requires stopping or at least slowing down lest you run into someone);

Do a "half-ack" where you turn your head a bit, maybe to the point of seeing the guy out of your peripheral vision, and raising your hand in sort of a semi-wave;

Lastly, you can ignore him altogether and pretend you didn't hear him.

At various times in my life I've gotten the reputation of being a jerk, yet despite my apparent jerkness, I just can't seem to do be rude enough to completely ignore the guy. I usually do the polite thing, turn and acknowledge him, and in doing so, take another swig from the bottle of resentment.